Tell the class that when we have expectations or make assumptions about any individual, regardless of age or gender, we create a lot of confusion. There is a lot of confusion about what young people are looking for in relationships. Much of that comes from assuming what the other person wants instead of asking. Don’t ever assume anything. Find out what someone else’s expectations are by asking them. And just as important, be honest about your own expectations.

Discussion Story:

A guy and a girl are out on a first date. She doesn’t know him very well, but would like to see him again. They stop by his house, and there are no lights on inside. He says: “There’s something I want to show you in my room….” Ask students: How should she respond? What could be assumed here if there is poor communication?

Discussion Story:

A father and son are packing to go on a fishing trip. The father tells the son to put the life jackets in the car but the son does not hear him. The father assumes that his son heard his request. The son thinks about the life jackets but expects his father to put them in the trunk just the way he did the last time they went fishing. Several minutes later both get into the car and drive away to the fishing spot.

Ask students: How long do you think it will be before they realize they have no life jackets? How could the father have communicated better to the son? How could the son have communicated when he thought of the life jackets?

Ask students: Can you see how lives are changed and how friendships and relationships can be strengthened or messed up without good communication? Can you see how good communication can show others who you are and what is right for you.

Tell students that everybody needs someone to whom they can talk. Parents or a trusted adult who cares about you are the best people for you to rely on. The following are some suggestions to get you started:

• Ask students to write down the names of two or three adults other than their parents whom they would approach if they had serious questions or concerns.
• Give students a list of trustworthy adults’ phone numbers; people in your school and community. Make sure this is a list of individuals you have already spoken to in advance and are willing to spend time listening to your students from this particular school. This list should include pastors, priests, rabbis, principals, and teachers.
• Encourage students to take the risk in sharing their list of goals with some adult if they have not already discussed it with a parent, grandparent or guardian.
• Introduce the question box. Put on your desk a question box and hand out strips of paper. Tell the students if they have questions for the instructor or for the class to discuss to put the questions in the question box. Let the students know if they do not want a question discussed in front of the class to write so on the paper. Suggest some times you are available to answer their questions privately. Explain that they do not have to put their names on the strip of paper; that the questions can be anonymous. Read questions every session in order to encourage participation and discussion.

*With the time that is left you may want to give a brief summary of everything that was discussed in the three lessons on communications.