Effective Communication: Who you are builds self-esteem.

1. Individuality:
   • Sometimes we do things we feel are wrong simply because someone, usually our parents, tell us not to do it. This is a sign of a new drive for independence and breaking away from our childhood.
   • It is important for us to start establishing our own identity in our teen years apart from our parents’. However, doing things out of rebellion is an immature way to go about it and can create strains and miscommunications and weaken relationships with family members.
   • A good way for us to walk into adulthood from our childhood and teen years is by taking each situation and deciding how we really feel about it. We can base our feelings on our own value system.
   • When you become a teenager you may disagree with your family. This is normal behavior. The method by which you choose to disagree is important.
   • At times it might seem that as Adolescents, we are the only ones who feel the way we do. We feel like loners. When this occurs, be proud that you are an individual, but at the same time remember to respect the opinions of others.
2. Peer Pressure:
   • Positive results of peer pressure can prompt honest discussion between friends and can cause you to think about what you believe and what you want for yourself.
   • Negative results of peer pressure can cause you to do things you think are wrong. It can make you defensive. (Think about it. True friends do not require that you defend or give explanations for your values.)

   How can we respond to negative peer pressure? Some possible answers are:

   • State what you believe is true. Use good communication skills to voice your concerns and values. (The teacher may want to review the four basic communication styles at this point in the lesson.)
   • Find friends who agree with you and stick with them.
   • Think about challenging situations before you face them.
   • Say, “ My parents won’t let me.”
   • Use the “broken record” technique: repeat a phrase such as, “I’ve thought a lot about it and I’ve decided it’s not for me.”

Discussion/story:

Four guys are running around town together. One guy says he knows where they can get a bunch of really cheap beer and cigarettes. He asks everyone if they want to go for it, and two of them quickly say yes. The third boy, Mark, hesitates. His parents are out of town, so no one would likely know about it, but he really doesn’t want to do it. How should this boy respond? What style of communication should he use?

(Have four class members role play this scenario.)

Ask the class, “Can you see how establishing and communicating who you are builds self-esteem and makes you ready for the tasks and goals ahead in obtaining success?”

Encourage students to ponder the ideas studied in class today and to begin to practice the communication styles that will help them establish and communicate who they are.