One of the struggles everyone faces is how to form healthy and genuine friendships. We discussed this in our last lesson on choosing the right friends. (Review the two lists that are hanging in the classroom.) When you become an adolescent it will become more difficult because your friends are changing as fast as you are. Opinions, emotions, and interests come and go. Having many friends makes this time easier. Learn to function in a group before choosing just one best friend. Learn to make a contribution to a group, rather than just to fit in. The greatest contribution you can make to your friends is to find the confidence to influence rather than to follow. Set the example and show others how to do the same.

Discussion: Ask students what the qualities of good friends are. List the responses on the board.

Tell students it takes learning and practice to be a friend, but the rewards are worth it. The more you are a friend, the more friends you will have. You can be a better friend when you:

1. Let others know you respect and accept them.
2. Listen to others.
3. Don’t gossip: if you do, others will not trust you to keep their remarks private.
4. Never make fun of people: Everyone is just as sensitive about teasing as you are----it never feels good.
5. Think before you act. Build people up, don’t tear them down.
6. Be sensitive to others.

OK, so what is peer pressure? (Ask students to respond aloud.)

Let’s talk about:

“Friends of Conformity” that limit your potential and success:

• Choose your friends wisely. If you hang around with a group that does not share your value system, you will face strong pressure to conform to their value system.
• Conformity is the desire to be like others. We have already discovered that this is contrary to who we are as individuals.
• Conformity is OK to a certain extent, like wanting to dress the same and having the same hairstyles. But it is not OK when it leads you to things you think are wrong.
• Conformity limits your behavior. Out of fear of being different, you limit yourself and your potential.

“Friends of Non-Conformity” encourage you to be yourself:

1. Most teens respect the person who has the courage to say no (even if they teased you…they wished that they had also said no.)
2. Remember that every great person in history, even though he/she conformed to many rules, had the ability to stand up for his/her own values, even against peer pressure. (Some examples include Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Mohandas Gandhi, Muhammad Ali, and Nelson Mandela)

When you don’t give in to negative peer pressure:

• You gain a new level of self-acceptance.
• You feel better about yourself.
• Your opportunities will not be limited (by pregnancy, health problems, jail terms).
• You are free to be yourself.
• You are free to be creative and discover your talents.
• You are free to pursue your goals in life without hassle or bother.
• You are free to find friends that have goals in common.

Because we like our friends and want them to like us, we are susceptible to their influence. This is why we must learn to overcome negative peer pressure. The best way to stay healthy, happy and goal-oriented is to avoid friends who do not hold the same values that we do.

Activity: Provide Handout #11: “True Friends Questionnaire”. Review the handout with the students by reading the questions and allowing the students to answer.